Not the Fire, but the Smoke
by DelusionalOtaku
Summary: Havoc's years of smoking finally catch up with him. Spoilers for the end of FMA:B and the manga, character death, one-shot, T for safety and very mild language.


**So. I'm still alive...and I have a story here...so yeah. not all that much to say. I like to think my writing has improved, but I don't know :).**

**Happy late FMA day, though. (Zoe the Hunter and I finished fma:b exactly one year ago on Sunday, I think.)**

**Thanks to Zoe for the title.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.**

**Hope you like it, and remember: if you cry, you have to review. And you should also go on my profile and click the link and listen to that song on youtube while you read this. **

* * *

><p>Roy Mustang climbed the steps to the hospital feeling weary, with four subordinates behind him.<p>

Only four.

He stepped up to the desk. "We're here to see Jean Havoc."

The nurse consulted an information book. "Room 4b, level one"

"Thank you" Roy said in a flat voice, simply going through the motions.

They went down the hall, and Roy marveled at how clean it was. Suddenly, room 4b was right in front of him. He stopped dead, his subordinates nearly running into him. Roy closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and gently pushed the door open, opening his eyes as he did so.

Havoc was sitting in the hospital bed, a sight that shouldn't have been familiar, but it was. "Hey guys" he said, giving them a smile that seemed forced. "Thanks for coming"

"What…what is it?" Hawkeye's voice had a rare tremor in it.

Havoc looked down, and his hands curled into fists, clutching the sheets. His eyes were dead, hopeless. De ja vu. "It's lung cancer. They say…they say I've got six months"

Roy's heart skipped a beat. Six months…to live? He felt sick, he felt like he was going to vomit.

He heard a sniffle, and glanced up. Fuery was the one sniffling, and Falman had tears running shamelessly down his cheeks. Hawkeye herself appeared to be holding back tears, and Breda looked… lost, and just in shock. Just like how Roy felt. This was crazy! Havoc couldn't die! He wouldn't let him. After everything…he had just gotten his legs back, he had survived Lust, and the promised day, he couldn't just die now! He couldn't…

Click

A lighter

"HAVOC!" why was he still smoking, that was the cause of this entire thing, how could he do this? Roy's mind was spinning, a hundred thoughts rushing through at once.

Breda snatched the lighter out of his hand and crushed the cigarette on the spotless white floor.

"What is wrong with you!" Breda yelled "this is the reason you're in here, why do you-"

Havoc's soft, defeated reply silenced him. "It's too late anyways. I'm gonna die anyways, why can't I smoke?" his head was down; he still refused to look at them.

"I'm going to die anyway"

* * *

><p>*five months later*<p>

Roy sat at his desk, working. He didn't feel like fighting the paperwork today. What was the point? He had been unusually quiet the last few months. Everyone had. And now, every day, they were just waiting.

Havoc had come back to work for a while, but it had gotten worse, and now he was back in the hospital. For good.

Roy looked down. He was still holding his pen, a millimeter above the paper, but he wasn't paying attention. That had also happened a lot in the last few months.

RING!

Roy fell out of his chair, his heart pounding.

"Calm down, sir, Edward did say he would call today" Hawkeye said, sensing his fear and soothing it while hiding her own worries behind a mask.

Roy breathed out slowly, composing himself. He was being irrational, it was just Fullmetal. He picked up the phone.

"Hello, Colonel Mustang?"

"Yes?" he said, his heart beginning to pound again at the soft, feminine voice that certainly wasn't Fullmetal.

"I am sorry to inform you that this morning, at ten twenty three, Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc passed away due to terminal cancer."

Roy's heart stopped and a lump rose in his throat. He couldn't…

He looked up slowly. His subordinates, no, his remaining subordinates were looking at him expectantly.

"He's gone"

….

"NO!" Roy looked at Breda. Later he would realize that the normally carefree man's outburst was surprising. "HE CAN'T BE! WHY! Why…he's not!" Breda's fist came down hard on the desk. "Dammit…DAMMIT!" His voice was full of agony, and he turned and ran out of the room.

Slowly, still in shock, Roy moved his gaze to his remaining three subordinates. He was dimly aware of the phone buzzing a dial tone at his feet. He didn't move. Fuery and Falman were crying again and Hawkeye…

The blond woman met his gaze for a moment, before looking down. She stood up and swiftly strode out the door. The entire room jumped as it slammed shut behind her. No one heard the sob that escaped her throat as she hurried out.

Roy was in shock. He could not believe that his trusted subordinate was…dead. It didn't seem real. He hadn't gotten to say goodbye. It felt like he should have gotten to say goodbye…

How could he be dead?

* * *

><p>Dark storm clouds rumbled menacingly in the distance. Roy was wearing his uniform, which wasn't unusual at all, but he was also wearing a black hat and sash. It was a funeral.<p>

The gathering was quiet, unnervingly so, and the only sound was the crying of a few people, and the marching feet of the pallbearers with the coffin.

The coffin! Havoc was in there. Roy felt his stomach lurch as he thought of it. It was like Hughes all over again, but this time it was Havoc. Havoc was his subordinate; he was like a little brother. Roy was supposed to protect him. Why hadn't he been able to protect him? Why?

A sob next to him jerked him out of his melancholic thoughts and he looked over to see Rebecca Catalina, Hawkeye's friend, sobbing into Hawkeye's shoulder. Her words weren't very loud, but Roy still heard them.

"W- we were dating, and I thought he might b- be the one. I think he was going to p- propose, and I would have said yes, but- but he just…" she let out another sob. "He's such an idiot! Why did he have to leave me alone like this?" Roy turned his head away, not wanting to hear any more. Havoc would have been so happy, he thought, if they had gotten married. He had always wanted a girl, and he found one, the right one, and he had to go off and DIE! Why? Why hadn't Havoc stopped smoking when they'd told him to?

Why had he died?

His body was being lowered into the earth now, with dirt being thrown on top. And then, ever so quickly, it was over, and he and Hawkeye were alone at his grave.

Roy thought of the fire, his fire, which had killed so many. But this, this was one person who had been killed, by not the fire, but the smoke.

"It's raining again."

"I know, Sir."

* * *

><p>*one year later*<p>

Water…

Raindrops…

Falling…

Splashing gently against a gravestone.

"_But I just got a new girlfriend!" _

Puddles were gathering on the ground.

"_Leave her"_

The rain rolling down the gravestone…

Down his cheek…

"_Colonel, could you give me a light?"_

A figure, alone in front of the grave.

"_But I guess you can't right now"_

Raindrops…

Rolling down his cheek…

"_Second lieutenant Havoc…answer me…dammit…I'm not going to allow you to die before me…havoc…"_

Because it was too late…

"_About that"_

Too late

"_Count me out"_

He was always too late

"_I can't… feel either of my legs"_

Useless

"_I'm sorry"_

He was always useless

"_Looks like an early retirement for me"_

Why, dammit?

"_And I just got permission to have one smoke a day, too"_

Why was he always useless against the one thing that mattered most?

And now…

It was too late…

His knight was gone.


End file.
